I kill myself or not, when I’m 80 years old? We spend all of our lives working hard, and it all leads to a glorious retirement spent swallowing pills and having medical procedures performed in order to squeeze out every minute we have left. I’m a cigarette smoker, and have heard many other smokers say they don’t want to live to be 80 in regard to the years cigarettes shave off of life. That may not be such a bad idea, because as humans we weren’t really meant to live as long as the current life expectancy, with much thanks to modern medicine and technology. Humans were made and meant to mature to adulthood, breed and produce offspring, teach those offspring survival skills, and pass away between 25-35 years old. This is the basic function of life that many other animals display, without the support of modern medicine to interfere with the cycle of life. So what is wrong with living to a ripe old age? My problem is the quality of life our Senior Citizens experience, especially when subjected to assisted living facilities and nursing homes.

There is shit caked all over my balls and asshole, and I’m just going to lay on the floor and piss myself, followed-up by staring at the wall for 2 hours. No, this isn’t me high on crack cocaine, but a common situation for an elderly person within an assisted living facility or nursing home. These places are waiting rooms for death, often severely understaffed, and lacking common human compassion. The staff is stretched so thin, that often Nursing Assistants have to rush to give every patient a quick wipe down and move to the next resident. Sometimes members of the staff are people that you wouldn’t let around your own children, let alone your elderly parent.

I was visiting a family member in a nursing home, and I noticed a lot of the residents were parked in the hallway. Most of them didn’t know where they were, staring off into space or at the wall. I asked one of the employees why everyone hangs out in the hallway, and she responded, “That way we can tell when they mess themselves quicker”. My response was, “So do you park my Nana in the hallway to smell her shit? Would it make your life easier if I try to teach her how to throw her fucking shit at you?” She understood my point, turned around in a huff and disappeared! I found it rude and offensive, as if my grandmother was a Panda Bear at the Zoo, and the employee’s job was to clean the cage. Our treasured elderly deserve to be treated with more respect and compassion than they are shown.

On the topic of assisted living and nursing home employees, I performed further investigation through friends and contacts within the industry. I’ve heard stories of multiple employees with criminal backgrounds slipping through human resources, as well as employees not being tested for drugs or being fired for drug use. The employees taking care of residents usually make between $10-15/hr, and often only have a high school degree if that. The certification to become a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) costs only $600-$1000, and includes 1-2 weeks of classes instructing how to wipe an ass, followed by an exam. Basically, these employees who are watching over your Nana, Nonny, MaMa, MomMom, Grandma, or Grandmother are a step above a cashier at your local supermarket. There is high turnover within this role due to the nature of work and reliability issues, management is often forced to hire quickly and without reservation. Ultimately, this is what your $5,000/month, $6,000/month, $8,000/month, $10,000/month, or $15,000/month gets you.

This is just a preview of what life can be like starting around the age of 70, and granted many elderly live independently into their 80′s and even 90′s. If you’re elderly and living at home, this doesn’t mean life is a breeze. Besides the benefit of Senior Citizen discounts at the local diner, life is a slew of doctor appointments, blood tests, pills, and medical procedures. Modern medicine is a great thing, but even great things have negative attributes. My heart goes out to those who are forgotten, waiting for death in a care facility. Life is short and retirement is a new job of trying to stay alive.