I kill myself or not, when I’m 80 years old? We spend all of our lives working hard, and it all leads to a glorious retirement spent swallowing pills and having medical procedures performed in order to squeeze out every minute we have left. I’m a cigarette smoker, and have heard many other smokers say they don’t want to live to be 80 in regard to the years cigarettes shave off of life. That may not be such a bad idea, because as humans we weren’t really meant to live as long as the current life expectancy, with much thanks to modern medicine and technology. Humans were made and meant to mature to adulthood, breed and produce offspring, teach those offspring survival skills, and pass away between 25-35 years old. This is the basic function of life that many other animals display, without the support of modern medicine to interfere with the cycle of life. So what is wrong with living to a ripe old age? My problem is the quality of life our Senior Citizens experience, especially when subjected to assisted living facilities and nursing homes.

There is shit caked all over my balls and asshole, and I’m just going to lay on the floor and piss myself, followed-up by staring at the wall for 2 hours. No, this isn’t me high on crack cocaine, but a common situation for an elderly person within an assisted living facility or nursing home. These places are waiting rooms for death, often severely understaffed, and lacking common human compassion. The staff is stretched so thin, that often Nursing Assistants have to rush to give every patient a quick wipe down and move to the next resident. Sometimes members of the staff are people that you wouldn’t let around your own children, let alone your elderly parent.

I was visiting a family member in a nursing home, and I noticed a lot of the residents were parked in the hallway. Most of them didn’t know where they were, staring off into space or at the wall. I asked one of the employees why everyone hangs out in the hallway, and she responded, “That way we can tell when they mess themselves quicker”. My response was, “So do you park my Nana in the hallway to smell her shit? Would it make your life easier if I try to teach her how to throw her fucking shit at you?” She understood my point, turned around in a huff and disappeared! I found it rude and offensive, as if my grandmother was a Panda Bear at the Zoo, and the employee’s job was to clean the cage. Our treasured elderly deserve to be treated with more respect and compassion than they are shown.

On the topic of assisted living and nursing home employees, I performed further investigation through friends and contacts within the industry. I’ve heard stories of multiple employees with criminal backgrounds slipping through human resources, as well as employees not being tested for drugs or being fired for drug use. The employees taking care of residents usually make between $10-15/hr, and often only have a high school degree if that. The certification to become a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) costs only $600-$1000, and includes 1-2 weeks of classes instructing how to wipe an ass, followed by an exam. Basically, these employees who are watching over your Nana, Nonny, MaMa, MomMom, Grandma, or Grandmother are a step above a cashier at your local supermarket. There is high turnover within this role due to the nature of work and reliability issues, management is often forced to hire quickly and without reservation. Ultimately, this is what your $5,000/month, $6,000/month, $8,000/month, $10,000/month, or $15,000/month gets you.

This is just a preview of what life can be like starting around the age of 70, and granted many elderly live independently into their 80′s and even 90′s. If you’re elderly and living at home, this doesn’t mean life is a breeze. Besides the benefit of Senior Citizen discounts at the local diner, life is a slew of doctor appointments, blood tests, pills, and medical procedures. Modern medicine is a great thing, but even great things have negative attributes. My heart goes out to those who are forgotten, waiting for death in a care facility. Life is short and retirement is a new job of trying to stay alive.

Thank you to everyone who has sent me messages asking if I was alright, since it has been a while since the last post. To that guy who thought I killed myself, not a chance. The reason for the leave of absence was a severe low, or rather a depressed mental state. I had no motivation to write or blog about anything, and I became even more of a recluse. Many people have told me to have a successful blog, you have to blog every day or even a couple times a day. I really don’t care, and I’m not looking for a successful blog. The reason I write is to get thoughts out of my head and onto paper, as part of my own self-therapy. To those people who write me with their bipolar horror stories, my heart goes out to you. I am far from an expert and don’t always know how I can help, but I will try to answer when I can. For the most part, I am a somewhat unstable person trying to make it through the world myself. The good news is more posts are coming, for I’m out of the depression. It might only be a couple a week, but if you’re a fan of the site, I doubt you’ll mind.

So what have I missed in the last month? How about this Obama guy? I haven’t cared about politics before or even registered to vote. Maybe it is because our Country is so screwed up, but for some reason this election has captured my attention with the democratic race, and now I’m investigating John McCain. My feeling was that Hillary was a wrong choice, and I think it’s a good thing Obama won. I am not for McCain or Obama at this point, for I need to investigate further. The one thing that does interest me is how Obama is utilizing the media to the fullest for this election. The internet campaigning and utilization of YouTube is quite ingenious. I don’t believe the internet has been used to it’s full potential in an election to this point. Now that the power is unleashed, we will see every candidate doing the same thing. McCain will even step up and start using it more. This is a good thing, and it will help to get the facts and viewpoints of the candidates out to the citizens.

What does the future hold? I would love to see the ability to vote over the internet. I’ll probably register to vote this year and do it, but wouldn’t it be great if we could jump on the computer and plug in our social security number on a government site? Look at American Idol, and how 90 million people vote for singers using text messaging. I feel the impact would be great, if voting utilized phones, text messages, and the internet. There is the downside, where the voting can be more about voting for a candidate without knowing the facts. In the end, the benefits will greatly outweigh the downside. Lets continue to watch the election and make the right choice, and hopefully our new president can fix all of the mistakes that Frat boy Bush made!

Everywhere I go, I experience terrible drivers on the streets of Philadelphia. When a red light changes, it is expected that three cars run it. I’m complaining about people who are so stupid, they shouldn’t be allowed their driver’s license. I have two great examples which happened in the past day, from my jaunts around town.

I was driving behind this crazy Puerto Rican bitch who was swerving so badly that I thought she was drunk. It was a single lane, so I stayed back since it was apparent she was going to hit a sign or a car. It was rush hour traffic on the way home, and all I could see in the back seat were the heads of two kids with afro puffs. Finally, the single lane switched to double lanes and I

My adventure got better as I approached home. I was at a four way stop sign and it was busy with traffic. At the stop sign in front of me were two vehicles side by side, and apparently the driver’s are friends. They had their windows down, and were chatting away. Traffic to my right and left kept moving through the intersection, for there wasn’t an obstacle in their way. I honked my horn at the morons, and the response almost made me get out of my car and open a can of road rage. One of the vehicles was a truck, that had a volunteer firefighter light on the roof. You know, one of those lights cops have, but on a junior level. The asshole put on his firefighter light, and continued to sit there chatting. By now, horns are blaring from 5 or 6 cars behind me. After three minutes, they wrapped up the conversation and were on their way.

I understand that people don’t really care about others anymore. Aren’t these great examples of idiots who are endangering people and creating hazards on the roads? This all happened in one day, and happens all the time on the roads in Philadelphia. The moral of the story is to please be respectful of your fellow drivers, and the safety of your own children in your car. Not just for safety reasons, but for the fact that one of these days I am going to snap and just ram my car into your car!