Another panic attack at the office during work
Tags: panic attack, hypochondriac, workplace, office
Work at the office was highly stressful on Friday, with numerous meetings during the morning in which most of the parties involved were not happy. I spent most of the morning justifying a sensitive position to upper management, and strategically expressing my discontent for decisions that were made for me. After lunch, I was walking in from having a cigarette and felt dizzy in the hallway. Thinking it was only a rare buzz from the nicotine, I returned to my desk which is located in an open environment surrounded by other employees. As I sat down, I feel that familiar out-of-body sensation and difficulty breathing.
I’m fairly experienced with a panic attack in the workplace, previously having several during office meetings. Being a hypochondriac as well, one of the first things I do during an attack is put my two fingers to my neck and feel my pulse.
The thought of getting up and leaving the office did cross my mind, but a panic attack during work isn’t always that easy. The fear of standing up and taking a couple of steps only to pass out isn’t the most thrilling idea. I hide the fact that I suffer from bipolar disorder and panic attacks from my co-workers, from fear of being viewed as sickly or crazy. It sounds stupid, but a person’s perception towards a top-performing employee can change when outside health factors are taken into account. Office politics themselves can be vicious and cut-throat, and ammunition towards me can greatly impact my method of making a living. It terrifies me to have the curse I live with daily exposed, especially since it has no impact on my actual work.
During a panic attack, I mentally go to my own “safe” place in my mind that calms and soothes me. This is really the only way I find relief, especially mentally battling the sensation that you are dying. After about 10 minutes, the attack had faded and I felt great. The calm after a panic attack is comparable to running 3 miles in the park, and experiencing the adrenaline and runner’s high. The entire experience is terrifying, especially within an environment that makes me feel so vulnerable, but the knowledge that the panic attack is over and undetected gives the greatest relief. I wrapped up the rest of the work day, and left early thinking “TGIF” as I reached my car in the parking lot.
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8 Responses to “Another panic attack at the office during work”
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I send prayers and blessings out to you.
I have bipolar and panic attackes/dizzyness too. I am on lithium, geodon, paroxetine and zyprexa. Alot of times it’s hard to leave my house (apartment). It’s good that you can write about it.
Thank you Riff, I appreciate the blessings.
It’s hard for me to leave the apartment as well. I’m very much a homebody as they say, well a recluse to be accurate.
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Wow, you are the first person I have come across that has similar real scenereos. Im sure there are alot of us out there, but Im just now hitting the web to see other peoples struggles. Sorry you are going through so much. I had the same issues at work, so I relate fully. And it is true, they will judge you, regardless of how well you perform your job. I kept my secret for about a year, but eventually i had one that the office noticed. afterwards, some people thought i was a punk, others felt sad for me… I didnt want sympathy or them to think lower of me. it was very different working there after it was in the open. anyway, I feel your pain, Im glad i stumbled onto your blog. I really like how you write and express yourself. Thanks for sharing.
I am so glad that I read this entry. I too have panic attacks/anxiety. Just recently within the last two months started. I thought I was going to die. I surely would like to know what causes this to happen for myself. Good luck to you.
Bipolar disorder – it is terribly exhausting…